The Unofficial First Non-Annual Miss Gas Mask Pageant of 2009 
Current mood:  breezy
Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping

Introducing the First Non-Annual Unofficial Miss Gass Mask Pageant of 2009 sponsored unofficially by the Womens Gas Mask Owners of America a renowned group made up on the spot just for the purpose of this blog.

Let me introduce you to this year’s contestants:

Starting with the winner by Default.

Wendy is a high-spirited contestant from Mississippi. At 29 (wink wink) she has accomplished many things in her life, but none as honorable as winning this title. She is quoted as saying, “I’m buying a Moose head that died of natural causes—who has the number to the Alaskan zoo?” She is by far the most random contestant we have ever seen!  She is sporting an authentic WWII Canadian gas mask purchased off the net. She won by default this year due to the disqualification of all the other contestants as explained below.

Mindy (a.k.a. Elephant girl) would have taken home the title this year until we found out she lied about her age.  Contestants must be atleast 25 to compete.  It was hard to verify her age due to the gas mask covering up her young complexion.

Ash (a.k.a. Ashton) was disqualified for lieing about being a women. He also lies about having a real gas mask…go figure.

Hilda is the president of “Womens Gas Mask Owners of America.” When asked to remove her gas mask to authenticate she folded her arms and refused to do so.  She was disqualified because she is not wearing a real gas mask—she was born like this and only claimed to be wearing a gas mask because kids made fun of her in grade school. She was also impeached as the first and only president of “Womens Gas Mask Owners of America” and the group disbanded shortly after this competition. Note: Womens Gas Mask Owners of America would never disqualify someone for their looks because everyone is beautiful in their own gas mask, but Hilda was not actually from America. She had us all fooled by the emblem on her shirt.

Eric Cartman was disqualified for lieing to us about being a real person.  Women’s Gas Mask of America does not discriminate against cartoon characters but as part of her duties as Miss Gas Mask the winner must be able to make appearances for longer than 30 minutes and travel on demand. Unfortunately Eric could only give us 30 minutes at a time and could not leave South Park, his hometown, due to 2 dimensional limits.