My Unofficial Report on the Sate of the Economy:

Disclaimer: I know the real meaning of economy and this in no way reflects that.  This is a satire designed to entertain the masses (even if it is only one person at a time.)

“An economy is the realized social system of production, exchange, distribution, and consumption of goods and services of a country or other area. A given economy is the end result of a process that involves its technological evolution, civilization’s history and social organization, as well as its geography, resource endowment, and ecology, among other factors. These factors give context, content, and set the conditions and parameters in which an economy functions.”—Unknown

In this post I am going to share what I believe the state of the economy to be.  With my pending ascent into Canadian royalty I feel that it is important that I reveal my prowess in economical matters. 

The State of Production, Exchange, Distribution, and Consumption: Production has definitely been a fine point of American culture from limitless amounts of Beanie Babies to Monday night and Tuesday night Primetime entertainment.  Why do all the good shows come on Monday and Tuesday? Don’t they know (they being the invisible people who plan the television schedules) that a DVR can only record two shows at once? Thank goodness for Internet TV! Now instead of spending my few non-working hours in front of a television, I can better enjoy myself staring at the screen of my laptop.  Now don’t think just because you can enjoy TV on your PC/MAC or laptop that you get to miss out on another one of America’s amazing ways of marketing to the masses.  Now I can enjoy commercials, just as much as I do when I’m watching regular TV, on my laptop—even better I get to see the same commercial six or seven times in the same one hour segment.  You should know that Marketing is as much important to Production as anything else.

Marketing provides the opportunity for anybody, and I mean anybody, to spread the word about stuff we should or should not buy.  For instance, the commercial for Chevy advertising the SUV hybrid, if we all did what our kids wanted then we would be stuck on a boat in the middle of a category 3 hurricane (if you watched the news during Hurricane Gustav you get it). But it works.  I’m not knocking Chevy’s attempt to be “green” but I am knocking their use of children to commercialize their brand.  What do children know about cars really? What about Brooke Shields and German Engineering?  I thought Brooke Shields was smart but seeing her in that commercial reminds me why she was a model to begin with. (I love Lipstick Jungle—it comes on Wednesday nights unlike the conglomerate of shows on Mon and Tues nights) People don’t get pregnant to take advantage of German Engineering. But again, it works. Anyone would be stupid to believe that or fall for that. As the American people I am ashamed that such gimmicks influence our decisions and create fads. On a personal note, I just want to buy a nice used vehicle that gets me from place A to B without breaking down.

The State of Technological Evolution: I’m a PC, no I’m a MAC, no I’m a PC, but really I’m a MAC. ENOUGH ALREADY!!!! Can’t we just accept that we are all just processors, motherboards, and hard drives? Operating System is just a color.  We are all one race!

The State of Our Civilization’s History: They (being the economy of our past) built pyramids, coliseums, and cathedrals.  We build skyscrapers and McDonalds’. They wrote epics and philosophy.  We write smut and blogs. 

The State of Social Organization: I’m the future Queen of Canada and Wendy is the future President of the South. That is all you need to know.

The State of Geography: We are on planet earth in the solar system located in the Milky Way Galaxy.  What else do you need to know? Oh Mars may be our future home if we insist on destroying our own planet. And trust me; Mars is not a pretty place. I’ve seen it on TV.

The State of Ecology: I had to look ecology up to be sure I understood it exactly. There is nothing too important to say other than respect the ecology; it makes us and the organisms around us who we are.